I Spoke to a wonderful person today and he encouraged me. I am back, realizing how much I have missed posting here.
I had a really long day. Woke up early my mom came and we made a big pot of soup. I only slept an hour maybe, so in the afternoon I took a nap. Touseef and I have been having problems. After talking to this person below I feel the urge to call him up all lies, and deception from him aside.
God has an order to all orchestrations. Sometimes a human soul can be so sweet that it almost makes you sick how much we are made and imbued with Love, or maybe it's just me being sensitive. We must be there for others.
Tonight I pondered to talk to someone. I was not going to, saying, "Mariah you did that before, don't make the same mistake." I decided to say hi and simply ask if it was ok that I talk. I would ask him to be open minded anytime and to not shut me out at anytime. You can criticize me, challenge me etc. but I don't like to be turned down so quickly, because I have come so far as a soul.
Yes, I was a little nervous but I imagine that would go away over time. It's nice when a person you don't even know shares time with you while being so sleepy in bed that their eyes are getting lazy. It's the random moments like this I cherish. This was not an ordinary person but a Special Soul. Moments like waving at a baby in the store and their face lights up, those are great moments. When you feel connected to people.
I Ask the creator to balance fears of rejection with optimism. To let it be known I care and want to share more than ever to gain. I will do all those things and be most loyal to those in life who belong to be in my life.
I like this idea you gave me, this new direction. It's already making ripples on the water.
I ask myself what can I give?
I have plenty to share in the form of ideas and from the place of interconnected oneness.
In any case, I'll remember your face,
how your nice eyes lie gentle behind the frames of your glasses.
A supple face and an honest and inquisitive person from what i gather.
In my life I'd always been the one to ask many questions, here someone asks me things and its a great feeling.
In any case, at the end of the long day, sitting in the dark I place my hands on my heart and I send light to you.
LAST NIGHTS DREAM
When i took a nap today I had a quick dream: Something about getting a chance to model in a quick shoot and that I would be paid just to shoot and nothing much really. In the dream I turned it down and was regretting while others went through. This has meaning to sieze things while they come and already before I woke up it affected me. I don't remember the other hazy details.
More later I will lie down now.
Love and light, .
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